Welcome To Mr. Rourke's Fantasy Diamond

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His name is Henderson Alvarez. Not familiar with him? Ha, you're an amateur. Although, to tell you the truth, I was unaware of Henderson Alvarez's existence 48 hours ago, but since then we've bonded quite tightly, Henderson and I, and let me tell you, the pleasure has been all mine. Henderson Alvarez happens to be a baseball player, a professional, Major League baseball player, a starting pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays (yes, folks, Toronto has a major league franchise, since 1977), and while Henderson might not end up being a Cy Young hurler any day, or even a piece of meat the New York Yankees ever covet, he is mine, and in the future I might just look back and call him a tipping point in my life--whether he ends up tipping me to glory or to a 12-Step Group remains to be seen. But what a ride it's gonna be!

Back in late March I wrote about a momentous decision I had to make: dog sit for friends for a few days, or join my first ever fantasy baseball league. Although seemingly unrelated, the two choices were for me an either/or proposition. I chose fantasy baseball, a diversion whose temptation I had resisted for more than twenty years, mainly because I don't trust my obsessive tendencies. Well, six weeks into the baseball season (it wasn't until the third week that I finally figured out how the points system works in fantasy baseball), I believe I am now officially obsessed, and the realization came last night when, after three minutes of intense research on ESPN's website led to my putting a guy named Danny Espinoza (a fine young man, I'm sure) on waivers and claiming the esteemed but obscure Henderson Alvarez off the scrap heap that is the free agent pool, for ten minutes I sweated and palpitated over each one of Alvarez's third inning pitches against the Minnesota Twins brought to me via ESPN's wonderful Gamecast service. I'm mad, I thought, loco, as Henderson might say, round the bend, straitjacket-eligible, Kurtz-up-the-river, whatever--but Praise Bill Veeck, it felt wonderful. Wonderful even moreso when my boy Henderson got out of the third with minimal damage and went on to hurl seven solid innings and pick up the win. His WHIP could have been better, and I would have liked another coupla K's, but Espinoza for Alvarez is looking pretty AOK right now. I'm hooked, happier than Charlie the Tuna could ever be in similar circumstances.

I named my team the Cellar Dwellers, insurance, I thought, in case the obsession never happened and I allowed my team to founder in the Big Sky League with scant concern. I like the name even more, now that I'm committed (vs. I've been committed, which might be the case by the All-Star Break) and watching my team steadily climb the standings--a solid fourth place out of ten teams; six measly points out of first, 25.5 above last place--and thinking about all those other teams below me cursing, we're getting beat by a team named the Cellar Dwellers? Yes I hope and expect to win it all come October, but internally I've made my goal more to the point--beat the Oklahoma Dirtbags at all costs. Nothing against the guy who "owns" the Dirtbags, I just love the name and have some sentimental (i.e. musical) attachment to Oklahoma and Tulsa in particular. It's the irrelevant ambitions that prod me most crazily.

So, now I'm sending nightly offerings to the baseball gods that Rafael Soriano settles in as a capable replacement for the legendary Mariano Riveria as the Yankees's closer, that Joey Votto lives up to his ridiculous new contract, and that the perpetually damned Jhonny Peralta hits a few dingers and gets off his ass and actually steals a base or two. Box scores have long been my kind of beach reading pleasure; now they're my Ulysses-like crack-the-code-and-reach-nirvana obsession. Mr. Rourke, in a tell-tale muddied white suit, still searching for a little guy gofer though he might be, is pleased, fantastically/fanatically pleased.

Yes, It Is Hot Enough For Me, And Other Euphemisms For 'Moron'

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Co-Worker had a dilemma. Basically, she was at a loss for words. Technically, she had one word, a very specific and--for the occasion--a most appropriate word, but she's too nice and polite to use it, especially when the person (in this case, yours truly) to whom she wanted to apply the word was in her presence. I had simply just made one of my pun-ilicious, borderline insane remarks, which was accompanied by what may liberally be interpreted as a dance move, and punctuated by a snippet of an Abba song sung in my pitch imperfect falsetto. The disapproving shaking of her head was not quite side-to-side, but kind of a diagonal swirl thing, and she just uttered, "You're a ... a ... ugh ... I can't say it."

"Ah," I surmised. "But it's simple: say, 'RRRR-tist!' Easy enough."

"Moron!" she replied. "There, I said it, the word I swore I'd never call anyone. So you're a vow-breaking-inducer, too, on top of being a moron!"

"I'm a multi-tasker by nature, I can't help it."

What amazing things the most appropriate word used at the most appropriate time can accomplish, though. The ice now broken by her calling a moron--me--a moron gave way to a flood of mutual understanding and, I daresay, mutual respect. Soon we were discussing the intricacies and nuances of calling someone a moron who rightly deserves the appellation. Such learned philological colloquies are a good third of what I live for in these lean times.

Of course, in crueler, less enlightened times, the word moron--sanctioned by all sorts of psychological nabobs--was used to describe a person of a certain, well-defined, low IQ. There was actually a specific ranking using such words as moron, imbecile, and idiot. Thankfully, we as a society aren't as offensive anymore. Doubly thankfully, because now those words are unshackled from their "scientific" meanings and free to be used on the millions of more people who--regardless of their IQs--are unqualified idiotic, imbecilic morons, or who just--from time to time--act like one. How great is this: dictionary.com defines moron as "a person who is notably stupid or lacking in good judgment." God I love that "notably." Today not only being a work day for me but also a holiday (oxymoron), I don't really have the time to peruse the whole dictionary to confirm my suspicion, but I'd bet a grilled cheeseburger you can't find more than five definitions in the entire tome that utilize the word "notably." And what an apt benchmark. "Is that guy a moron or what?" "I don't know, Herm, he's pretty stupid, but I wouldn't go to the extreme of calling him notably stupid. So, no, he's not a moron. I think we need to go to our British cousins to aptly describe him as a 'silly git.'"

Anyway, the discussion between Most Polite Co-Worker and me soon evolved into list-making. So, for all of you genteel folks out there still a little too nice to call a moron a moron, here's a list of the best euphemisms we came up with. Next time you need to call some notably stupid person a moron but just can't get your tongue around the syllables mohr-on, try one of these. You're welcome.

• I'm sure you mean well, but ...
• Thanks for the input, Newt.
• The wind get your beret, sir?
• So how are your Red Sox doing this year?
• If you only had a gently used copy of Fifty Shades of Grey, you might be worth my time and money.
• Gosh, no, I've never seen a Canadian dime looking like that. Tell me, do you rent that metal detector or own it?
• Yeah, Skynyrd, man!
• It's getting cold in here. Can I borrow your copy of Going Rogue?
• Yes I do work here.
• It took me a minute, but yes, I do get your vanity plate. Clever!
• Want some pizza with those mushrooms?
• No, I didn't hear Rush say that.
• Um, the "little boys room" is just down the hall on your left.
• What do you mean you hate his singing voice?
• So how's the weather been in Pittsburgh?
• Thanks for the offer, but I think taking a ride on your Segway PT might activate my notoriously vile motion sickness.
• That's not Shinola, Sherlock.
• Hello, Mr. Trump.

The Tell-Tale Sign You're An Aged Rock Star

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Each generation is presented with new, never experienced before challenges. Think of the cohort who invented the wheel, then had to cope with their teenagers taking the first ever joy rides. Or the first Catholics who suddenly had to get culinarily creative on a Friday night. Or Morse's peers who had to deal with the first prank telegraph messages (just what is the dot-dash configuration of "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"?). Obviously, the daunting, never-before-have-people-had-to-face-this challenge of the present generation is, what to do with aging rock stars. It's amazing to think of it, but many of the Founding Fathers (or Queens, and here's to you, Little Richard) of Rock'n'Roll are still alive--Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, and the previously mentioned Mr. Penniman. Hell, Elvis would be/is only 77. All hail them and the rest, but still, we as fans are faced with several thorny issues concerning how to deal with these former paragons of youth now that they ain't that young anymore.

For years now we've rather naturally taken in stride the gradual steps of an aging career: the balding, the hearing loss, the myriad "comeback" tours and albums (when you've got at least three of each on your resume, you know you're getting old, Mr. Rock Star), the Rock Hall induction, the Super Bowl gig, the tribute albums and concerts, the third or fourth box sets, the ironic singing of lines penned in youth--and all of that's just the last thirty years of Pete Townshend's life. Like Medicare, senior coffee at McDonald's, and EZ Lift chairs for the rest of us, an entire network of safety nets has been erected to ease the once callow, rebellious rocker into senescence. There's Unplugged, and Storytellers, the duets album, the album of standards, the greatest hits live album, the hook-up with the hip young producer album, the songwriters in the round concerts, the rock cruises, and the inevitable writing of the memoirs (David Ritz thanks you all). Say what you will about Elvis's tragic death, but the man put out a lot of schlock when he was alive, and, all the merchandising since his death notwithstanding, imagine the crap he would have made lo these last 35 years!

But, accustomed as I am--and I'm sure you are--to all of this by now, the question that has bugged me for some time is, what's the Rubicon, what's the jump the shark/couch moment, the definitive dividing line between being an aging rock star--where we can salute the career, bask in past glories, honor, if a bit sadly, the god while he or she is still alive --and being an aged rock star, where the whole thing is just downright depressing and should be kept away from the public? Well, like Steve Jobs must have felt years ago when he realized, "Phones, my God! Who knew? The future is phones!" yesterday I had a eureka moment concerning this aging/aged rock thing. I now know the exact moment when it is clear that our beloved aging rock star, the hero of our youth, has landed at the bottom of the slippery slope and is now not simply completely irrelevant but is dangerous to our collective joie de vire and should be put out to pasture for good--however you want to define that euphemistic idiomatic phrase.

But first let me qualify things. I love the Rolling Stones. It might be an oldies station playing it, but whenever I hear "Jumpin' Jack Flash," or "Brown Sugar" or "The Last Time" on the radio, they all still sound like the freshest, nastiest thing on any airwaves. If I were a pugilistic sort, I'm sure by now my oft-repeated, and oft-scoffed at, statement of incontrovertible fact that the Stones were/are/and ever shall be greater than the Beatles would have gotten me engaged in many a fisticuffs over the years. It's such a foundational truth, that I guess only the hoariest, most despicable cliche applies--you look up Rock'n'Roll in the dictionary, and you'll find a picture of the Stones.

Of course, duh, I'm speaking of the Rolling Stones only in the first 20 years of their by now 50 year existence (sic). Go ahead, name three great songs the Stones have made in the past thirty years; here's a hint, I'll be beyond aged by the time you can even muster an argument for the third one. Hell, they've made a grand total of six, 6! albums in the past thirty years. (By the way, the answer is one. One great song in the last thirty years: "The Worst," off Voodoo Lounge; a Keith song, ironically, from 1994!).

Now I won't bother going through yet again the "pathetic parodies of themselves," "only in it for the (huge amount of ) money" arguments. You've read them all before. And will undoubtedly read them again as they mount whatever becomes their 50 Year Celebration, i.e., hopefully, Swan Song, in the next few months. No, my beef at the moment is with Keef. The Human Riff. The alleged poster boy of all things Rock. Mick is Mick, always was, always will be. God save him. Ronnie's just a hired gun. Charlie is irreproachable; always was and always will be the coolest guy Rock has ever created. But Keith. My God. Years ago I thought it, and I still do, now more fervently than ever--every day he lives he gets less cool. For thirty years now he's been trading on the lovable bad guy schtick. Now he's Goofy Grandpa, professionally raconteuring rather than rocking and touring. We love you Keith, always have and always will, but shut up and go away already.

And what has brought me to such apostasy today? What has me so sacrilegiously blaspheming the mighty Keith Richards? The eureka moment I experienced yesterday. The discovery of the tell-tale sign that the aging rocker has become aged. The end of the living rock god's relevant life: At the bookstore where I work, we received two remaindered (duh) copies of Keith's autobiography, Life, IN LARGE PRINT! Trust me, I know the book retailing business. Keith's audience is not the LARGE PRINT audience. Unless he's ditched Patti and is shacking up with Debbie Macomber, Danielle Steel, or Barbara Taylor Bradford, Keith Richards has no place in the LARGE PRINT section of a bookstore. Good God, Keith, I know you've raised reckless nonchalance to an art form, but why in the name of Robert Johnson did you sign a publishing contract that allowed them to print your book in LARGE PRINT? If you do ever tour again, you better have a special ring of seats for AARP members, where earplugs, Depends, and seat cushions are included in the senior discount price. You never even made a standards album, Keith! How can you go LARGE PRINT on us?

R.I.P. KEITH. IT'S ALL OVER NOW.

An Oldster Re-Fashions A Youngster's Song

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Well, the toe bone is connected to Epsom Salts
And the foot bone is connected to ongoing litigation involving Medicare, the insurance industry, and Payday Loans, Inc.
And the ankle bone is connected to God only knows what.
The shin bone is connected to the slings and arrows of absurd misfortune
And the knee bone is connected to Dial-A-Prayer
While the thigh bone is connected to a heating pad.
The hip bone is connected to Mother Nature's storm center
And the tail bone is connected to this EZ Lift Chair.
The back bone is connected to Edvard Munch's psyche
And the breast bone is connected to the hopes of Ponce de Leon.
The shoulder bone is connected to Advil
All the arm elbow wrist hand and finger bones seem to be connected to someone else's nervous system
And the neck bone is connected to Meyerwitz, Meyerwitz, and Pane and Sons.
The jaw bone is connected to Ensure
The nose bone is connected to a sink of dirty dishes at the moment
The ear bone has been disconnected
And the head bone is looking to connect with a soft pillow.

Today, That Is

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Some days just make sense. Today, for instance. Having a Monday off helps, as well as having the Cleveland Browns win the day before (Mondays off aren't too infrequent, but Browns Victory Mondays are a very rare occasion). I'm still burping a slew of family Thanksgiving get-together delicious dinners, including easily the best turkey I've ever eaten. Chef Brother-In-Law claims the secret is in the brining, and who am I to cast doubt--so moist, so tender, so gob-smacking wonderful. I got a bunch of laundry done today, some long-overdue housework (I even broke out the toilet brush and gave the commode a twice over). I made a rapprochement visit to CVS and was rewarded with coupons right up my alley--razorblades and aspirin--and even had a nice chat with a Jehovah's Witness who came up with a great image while spreading his health over wealth gospel--"Ever see a bank truck following a hearse?" All I need to do is channel the winning numbers for Wednesday's record PowerBall drawing and the day will be complete.

Is it any wonder, then, that the song that has been hounding (in a good sense) me for a few days is "Oh What A Beautiful Mornin'" from Oklahoma!? Now my disdain for Broadway musicals is ample, but I've always kind of had a secret hankering for Oklahoma!, God only knows why. But isn't this the way life works? Chalk it up to the brine, but Thanksgiving night I had a strange dream where I informed an old friend that on her next birthday I would be on her front step early in the morning serenading her and the entire neighborhood with "Oh What A Beautiful Mornin'." I was actually singing the song in the dream. Then last night, flicking channels aimlessly, I happened upon a PBS documentary about Oscar Hammerstein II, the lyricist for Oklahoma!, The King and I, South Pacific, etc. Coincidence? I don't think so. Naturally, I woke up early this morning feeling oh so good, and the song, after playing it a few times on my computer and youtubing it, has been happily stuck in my head. God I love the line about the breeze not missing any trees and the one about the weeping willow "laughing at me," and I get giddy every time I hear that bouncing, frolicking "Everything's goin' my way." Thank you Mr. Hammerstein, for most this amazing day.

The Purpose of Baha'u'llah

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Unto the emblems of justice and the exponents of equity it is indubitably clear and evident that this Wronged One, strengthened by the transcendent power of the Kingdom, is seeking to efface from among the peoples and kindreds of the earth every evidence of disorder, discord, dissension, differences or divisions; and it is for no other reason but this great, this momentous object that He hath again and again been cast into prison and many a day and a night hath been subjected to chains and fetters. Blessed are they that judge this impregnable Cause, this glorious Announcement, with fairness and equity.
(Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 260)


O King of Paris! [Napoleon III] Tell the priests to ring the bells no longer. By God, the True One! The Most Mighty Bell hath appeared in the form of Him Who is the Most Great Name, and the fingers of the Will of Thy Lord, the Most Exalted, the Most High, toll it out in the heaven of Immortality in His name, the All-Glorious. Thus have the mighty verses of Thy Lord been again sent down unto thee, that thou mayest arise to remember God, the Creator of earth and heaven, in these days when all the tribes of the earth have mourned, and the foundations of the cities have trembled, and the dust of irreligion hath enwrapped all men, except such as God, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise, was pleased to spare. Say: He Who is the Unconstrained is come, in the clouds of light, that He may quicken the world with the breezes of His name, the Most Merciful, and unify its peoples, and gather all men around this Table which hath been sent down from heaven.
(Baha'u'llah, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 1.131 p. 67)


The purpose of the one true God in manifesting Himself is to summon all mankind to truthfulness and sincerity, to piety and trustworthiness, to resignation and submissiveness to the Will of God, to forbearance and kindliness, to uprightness and wisdom. His object is to array every man with the mantle of a saintly character, and to adorn him with the ornament of holy and goodly deeds.
(Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh CXXXVII, p. 299)The Baha'i Womens Group of Lumumbashi, Katanga, Democratic Republic of Congo, in 1997
Copyright © 2006 Baha'i International Community
Used with permission
This Wronged One, rid of all attachment to the world, hath striven with utmost endeavour to quench the fire of animosity and hatred which burneth fiercely in the hearts of the peoples of the earth.
(Tablet of Tarazat (Ornaments), Tablets of Baha'u'llah p. 44)


Thou didst bring mankind into being to know Thee and to serve Thy Cause, that their station might thereby be elevated upon Thine earth and their souls be uplifted by virtue of the things Thou hast revealed in Thy Scriptures, Thy Books and Thy Tablets.
(Baha'u'llah, Tablet of Ishraqat, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 111)


That which hath been set forth and will be revealed in the future is but a token of this Servant's ardent desire to dedicate Himself to the service of all the kindreds of the earth.
(Tablet of Maqsud, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 171)

Unto that immeasurably exalted Being Who seeketh naught but to foster the spirit of love and fellowship amongst men, and to revive the world and ennoble its life, they have imputed such charges as the tongue and the pen are ashamed to recount.
(Baha'u'llah, Tablet of Maqsud, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 174)The Tongan Baha'i Lakalala Dance Group at the 2004 jubilee celebrations
Copyright © 2006 Baha'i International Community
Used with permission
The Divine Messengers have been sent down, and their Books were revealed, for the purpose of promoting the knowledge of God, and of furthering unity and fellowship amongst men. (Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 12)

We, verily, have come to unite and weld together all that dwell on earth. (Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 24)



Mine aim hath ever been, and still is, to suppress whatever is the cause of contention amidst the peoples of the earth, and of separation amongst the nations, so that all men may be sanctified from every earthly attachment, and be set free to occupy themselves with their own interests.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 33)


. . . it is Our purpose, through the loving providence of God -- exalted be His glory -- and His surpassing mercy, to abolish, through the force of Our utterance, all disputes, war, and bloodshed, from the face of the earth.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 33)


The betterment of the world hath been the sole aim of this Wronged One.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 36)


Addressing Himself unto the kings and rulers of the earth -- may God, exalted be He, assist them -- He imparted unto them that which is the cause of the well-being, the unity, the harmony, and the reconstruction of the world, and of the tranquillity of the nations.
(Bahá'u'lláh, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 44)


Confer with them, and show them what hath flowed out of the Pen of Glory, that haply they may be graciously aided to better the condition of the world, and improve the character of peoples of different nations, and may, through the living waters of God's counsels, quench the hatred and the animosity which lie hid and smolder in the hearts of men. We pray God that thou mayest be assisted therein. And this, verily, would not be hard for Him.   
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 59)


. . . that He may quicken the world and unite its peoples
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 63)


This Wronged One, in the daytime and in the night-season, occupied Himself with that which would edify the souls of men, until the light of knowledge prevailed over the darkness of ignorance. 
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 71)


This people need no weapons of destruction, inasmuch as they have girded themselves to reconstruct the world.
(Bahá'u'lláh, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 74)


that the souls of men may be edified, and the Word of God be exalted.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 76-77)


Night and day hath this Wronged One been occupied in that which would unite the hearts, and edify the souls of men.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 88)


He hath sent forth His Messengers, and sent down His Books, that they may announce unto His creatures the Straight Path.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 98)


...that thine eye might be cheered, and thy soul be well-assured.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 103)


Their concern hath ever been and now is for the betterment of the world. Their purpose is to obliterate differences, and quench the flame of hatred and enmity, so that the whole earth may come to be viewed as one country.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 123)


this Wronged One hath, at all times, been cleaving fast unto whatever would be conducive to the glory of both the government and the people.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 124)


Our purpose is that all men may cleave unto that which will reduce unnecessary labor and exertion, so that their days may be befittingly spent and ended.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 138)


The eyes of this Wronged One are turned towards naught save trustworthiness, truthfulness, purity, and all that profiteth men.   
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 138)

. . . so that He may infuse life eternal into the mortal frames of men, impart to the temples of dust the essence of the Holy Spirit and the heavenly Light, and draw the transient world, through the potency of a single word, unto the Everlasting Kingdom.
(Baha'u'llah, Compilation on Trustworthiness; The Compilation of Compilations Volume II, p. 337, #2050)
Briefly, in every instance He hath stated that which is conducive to the conversion, the advancement, the exaltation, and the guidance of men.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 155)


God is My witness that this Wronged One hath had no purpose except to convey the Word of God.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 161)A Baha'i children's class in Yarmag, Ulaanbatar, Mongolia, 2005
Copyright © 2006 Baha'i International Community
Used with permission
We had no other purpose except to edify the souls of men, and to exalt the blessed Word.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 166)


Say: He Who is the Unconstrained is come, in the clouds of light, that He may quicken the world with the breezes of His name, the Most Merciful, and unify its peoples, and gather all men around this Table which hath been sent down from heaven.
(Bahá'u'lláh addressing Napoleon III, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 1.131, pp. 67-68)


Consider these days in which He Who is the Ancient Beauty hath come in the Most Great Name, that He may quicken the world and unite its peoples.
(Bahá'u'lláh addressing Queen Victoria, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 1.177, p. 92)


O ye rulers of the earth! Wherefore have ye clouded the radiance of the Sun, and caused it to cease from shining? Hearken unto the counsel given you by the Pen of the Most High, that haply both ye and the poor may attain unto tranquillity and peace. We beseech God to assist the kings of the earth to establish peace on earth. He, verily, doth what He willeth.
(Bahá'u'lláh addressing the rulers of the earth, in the Tablet to Queen Victoria, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, p. 93)


They that surround thee love thee for their own sakes, whereas this Youth loveth thee for thine own sake, and hath had no desire except to draw thee nigh unto the seat of grace, and to turn thee toward the right hand of justice.
(Baha'u'llah addressing Násiri’d-Dín Sháh, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 1.194, p. 99)


. . . this Servant hath had no end in view but to promote the betterment and well-being of the world.
(Bahá'u'lláh addressing Násiri’d-Dín Sháh, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 1.209, p. 108)


This Youth hath come to quicken the world and unite all its peoples. The day is approaching when that which God hath purposed will have prevailed and thou shalt behold the earth transformed into the all-glorious paradise. Thus hath it been inscribed by the Pen of Revelation upon this weighty Tablet.
(Bahá'u'lláh, Súriy-i-Ra’ís, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 2.8, p. 144)


Say: Even should ye tear our bodies asunder, ye could not banish from our hearts the love of God. We were of a truth created for sacrifice, and in this do we take pride before all creation.
(Bahá'u'lláh, Súriy-i-Ra’ís, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 2.27, p. 151)


I confess that Thou hast no desire except the regeneration of the whole world, and the establishment of the unity of its peoples, and the salvation of all them that dwell therein.
(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah CXV, p. 243)


If any man were to meditate on that which the Scriptures, sent down from the heaven of God's holy Will, have revealed, he would readily recognize that their purpose is that all men shall be regarded as one soul, so that the seal bearing the words "The Kingdom shall be God's" may be stamped on every heart, and the light of Divine bounty, of grace, and mercy may envelop all mankind. The one true God, exalted be His glory, hath wished nothing for Himself. The allegiance of mankind profiteth Him not, neither doth its perversity harm Him. The Bird of the Realm of Utterance voiceth continually this call: "All things have I willed for thee, and thee, too, for thine own sake." If the learned and worldly-wise men of this age were to allow mankind to inhale the fragrance of fellowship and love, every understanding heart would apprehend the meaning of true liberty, and discover the secret of undisturbed peace and absolute composure. Were the earth to attain this station and be illumined with its light it could then be truly said of it: "Thou shall see in it no hollows or rising hills."
(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah CXXII, p. 260)


The Day Star of Truth that shineth in its meridian splendor beareth Us witness! They who are the people of God have no ambition except to revive the world, to ennoble its life, and regenerate its peoples.
(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah CXXVI, pp. 270-271)

O thou that hast fled thy home and sought the presence of God! Proclaim unto men the Message of thy Lord, that it may haply deter them from following the promptings of their evil and corrupt desires, and bring them to the remembrance of God, the Most Exalted, the Most Great.
(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah CXXVIII, p. 276)


My object is none other than the betterment of the world and the tranquillity of its peoples.
(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah CXXXI, p. 286)
A study group at the Barli Development Institute for Rural Women in Indore, India
Copyright © 2006 Baha'i International Community
Used with permission
The Purpose of the one true God, exalted be His glory, in revealing Himself unto men is to lay bare those gems that lie hidden within the mine of their true and inmost selves.
(Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh CXXXII, p. 287)


Say: We have accepted to be tried by ills and troubles, that ye may sanctify yourselves from all earthly defilements. Why, then, refuse ye to ponder Our purpose in your hearts? By the righteousness of God! Whoso will reflect upon the tribulations We have suffered, his soul will assuredly melt away with sorrow. Thy Lord Himself beareth witness to the truth of My words. We have sustained the weight of all calamities to sanctify you from all earthly corruption, and ye are yet indifferent.
(Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh CXLI, p. 306)


He Who is the Eternal Truth hath, from the Day Spring of Glory, directed His eyes towards the people of Baha, and is addressing them in these words: "Address yourselves to the promotion of the well-being and tranquillity of the children of men. Bend your minds and wills to the education of the peoples and kindreds of the earth, that haply the dissensions that divide it may, through the power of the Most Great Name, be blotted out from its face, and all mankind become the upholders of one Order, and the inhabitants of one City.”
(Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh CLVI, p. 333-334)


O ye children of men! The fundamental purpose animating the Faith of God and His Religion is to safeguard the interests and promote the unity of the human race, and to foster the spirit of love and fellowship amongst men.
(Bahá'u'lláh, Tabernacle of Unity, paragraph 2.34, p. 38)


In this way the primary purpose in revealing the Divine Law -- which is to bring about happiness in the after life and civilization and the refinement of character in this -- will be realized.
(Abdu'l-Bahá, The Secret of Divine Civilization, p. 46)


Say: Take heed lest your devotions withhold you from Him Who is the object of all devotion, or your worship debar you from Him Who is the object of all worship. Rend asunder the veils of your idle fancies! This is your Lord, the Almighty, the All-Knowing, Who hath come to quicken the world and unite all who dwell on earth.
(Baha'u'llah addressing the Christian clergy, Tablet to Pope Pius IX, The Surih of the Temple, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 1.109, p. 58)


We, too, have revealed the Cause of God in His cities and raised aloft His remembrance amidst them that truly believe in Him. Say: This Youth hath come to quicken the world and unite all its peoples.
(Baha'u'llah, Súriy-i-Ra’ís, The Summons of the Lord of Hosts, paragraph 2.8, p. 144)


We have accepted to be tried by ills and troubles, that ye may sanctify yourselves from all earthly defilements. Why, then, refuse ye to ponder Our purpose in your hearts? By the righteousness of God! Whoso will reflect upon the tribulations We have suffered, his soul will assuredly melt away with sorrow. Thy Lord Himself beareth witness to the truth of My words. We have sustained the weight of all calamities to sanctify you from all earthly corruption
(Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, Section CXLI, p. 307)


We had no other purpose except to edify the souls of men, and to exalt the blessed Word.
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 166)


Thou didst bring mankind into being to know Thee and to serve Thy Cause, that their station might thereby be elevated upon Thine earth and their souls be uplifted by virtue of the things Thou hast revealed in Thy Scriptures, Thy Books and Thy Tablets.
(Tablet of Splendours, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 111)


. . . so that the souls of Thy creatures may be drawn towards Thee, that they may forsake themselves and turn unto Thee, and may flee from their misery and seek the tabernacle of Thy riches, and may haste away from their wretchedness into the court of Thy majesty and glory.
(Prayers and Meditations by Baha'u'llah XCI, p. 153)

A group of women who have been studying together
Copyright © 2006 Baha'i International Community
Used with permission

The aim of this Wronged One in sustaining woes and tribulations, in revealing the Holy Verses and in demonstrating proofs hath been naught but to quench the flame of hate and enmity, that the horizon of the hearts of men may be illumined with the light of concord and attain real peace and tranquillity.(The Book of the Covenant, Tablets of Baha'u'llah, p. 219)

An Encouraging Letter from Shoghi Effendi to the Baha'is of California

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When the Baha'is went on Pilgrimage to the Holy Land they often brought gifts with them for the family of Abdu'l-Baha.  Abdu'l-Baha did not permit the family to keep most of these gifts-- sometimes clothing, jewels, home furnishings.  One gift He did accept was brought by William Randall -- the gift of a portable typewriter.  And with this typewriter, Shoghi Effendi typed out his translations of the correspondence addressed by the Master to the Baha'is of the West. Here is a photograph of Shoghi Effendi which I believe was taken during the last years of Abdu'l-Baha's life, probably just prior to Shoghi Effendi attending graduate school at Balliol College in England, perhaps around 1919:
Shoghi Effendi at his portable typewriterCopyright © 2010 Baha'i National Archives, WilmetteUsed with permission - Please click for larger image
Here is a close-up of Shoghi Effendi, probably taken around the same time, in the years immediately before he became Guardian of the Baha'i Faith

Shoghi Effendi as a young manCopyright © 2010 Baha'i National Archives, WilmetteUsed with permission
It was on this typewriter that Shoghi Effendi wrote all of his letters to the Baha'is of the West.  All of the lengthy letters in "Baha'i Administration" and "Citadel of Faith," all of the manuscripts of his translations of the writings of Baha'u'llah -- the Gleanings, the Book of Certitude, Prayers and Meditations, as well as his manuscripts of "The Dawn-Breakers" and "God Passes By" -- all were produced on this typewriter.  When he sent the manuscript of Baha'u'llah's Book of Certitude to the United States, he wrote:
Unable to find a good typist, I have had to do the work myself, and I trust that the proofreaders will find it easy to go over and will not mind the type errors which I have tried to correct. I would especially urge you to adhere to the transliteration which I have adopted. The correct title is, I feel, 'The Kitab-i-Iqan' the sub-title 'The Book of Certitude.' May it help the friends to approach a step further, and obtain a clearer idea of the fundamental teachings set forth by Baha'u'llah.(Shoghi Effendi, postscript to a letter published in Baha'i News #46, November 1930, p. 2)
Amatu'l-Baha Ruhiyyih Khanum, his wife, writes, 
"He typed, on a very small portable machine, by the two-finger method, all his own manuscripts..." (The Priceless Pearl, p. 201)How many hundreds of hours Shoghi Effendi spent on reading his sources and compiling his notes, how many days and months in painstakingly writing out in long hand - and often rewriting - the majestic procession of his chapters, how many more wearisome days he sat at his small portable typewriter, hammering away with a few fingers, sometimes ten hours on end, as he typed the final copy of his work! And how many more hours we spent late into the night, when the daily typing was over, seated side by side at his big table in his bedroom, each with three copies of the typescript before us, proof-reading, making corrections, putting in by hand the thousands of accents on transliterated words which Shoghi Effendi would read aloud, until his eyes were bloodshot and blurred, his back and arms stiff with exhaustion, as we worked on to finish the entire chapter or part of a chapter he had typed that day. It had to be done. There was no possibility of working at a slower pace. he was racing against time to present the Bahá'ís of the West with this inimitable gift on the occasion of the one hundredth anniversary of the inception of their Faith.  (The Priceless Pearl, p. 223)
"God Passes By" is really the only book Shoghi Effendi wrote; everything else was in the form of letters. Anyone who reads this magnificent book Shoghi Effendi labored so hard to give to us, will become much more aware of the grandeur of the Baha'i Faith, and more deeply familiar with its teachings.
Several times, Shoghi Effendi needed to retire to Switzerland, where he fought his spiritual battles, and prepared himself for his unimaginably demanding labors as Guardian of the Baha'i Faith.  Following his return in November, 1923 he wrote to the Baha'is:  
Upon my return, after a forced and prolonged absence, to the Holy Land, it is my first and most ardent wish to renew and strengthen those ties of brotherly love and fellowship that bind our hearts together in our common servitude to His sacred Threshold.
A few weeks later he wrote the following beautiful letter to the Baha'is in California, which he prepared on this same typewriter.  It is a model of encouragement and leadership.  In 1997 a copy of this letter was sent to all of the Baha'is in California, on the occasion of the establishment of the Regional Baha'i Council of the Western States. It is well worth reading and re-reading for the guidance and encouragement it provides.